Some people keep their high school friends for life; others drift apart soon after college. Why does it happen? And what tips the scales in either direction?

As with any major life change, graduating from high school brings with it a host of new experiences. You might move out of your childhood home; start a job; enroll in college. You’ll certainly discover new interests and meet new people.

Growing apart is a normal part of growing up, but the true friends you made in high school will probably remain a part of your life seemingly without effort. You’ll talk a few times a year, maybe visit each other every now and then, and it will always feel as though no time has passed at all.

Most of us, however, have a larger group of more casual friends. It can be fun and fulfilling to maintain these connections, even while you make new ones. Use social media to reach out directly every so often, like their posts, tag them in memories, and organize or contribute to reunions. Taking an active interest in their lives often invites them to do the same for you.

Growing pains are real, and it can hurt to lose touch with people to whom you once felt close. Give yourself permission to grieve the friendships that fell by the wayside. Then remind yourself that the real ones last forever.